32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
