Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
