so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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