There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
