Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
