I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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