did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
A+ Viking dick
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
