he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I believe in your delicious
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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