Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Who died my cat blue again?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
