I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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