you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
