What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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