is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
