You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
