Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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