its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
