is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
