I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
