Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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