so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
