are you so shy because you have an std?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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