Ambien. No doubt about it.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
