Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Randomize
