what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
