She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
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