We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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