i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
