sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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