As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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