i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
