Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
