oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize