I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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