so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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