last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
