You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
