i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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