I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
