i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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