So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
My dad just said "fuck circus"
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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