Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
