Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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