we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
