the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
