He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
