so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize