Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
