I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
