Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
