i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The convent might be a nice break from real life
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
