Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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