The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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