My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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