is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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