I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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