It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
