Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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