True but thats because hes a fetus.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
