seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
