Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize